He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
