Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You made out with two different species that night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
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