yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
