Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I seem to have left my pride at pride
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
