everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
