She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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