Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
