So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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