Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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