I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
