I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
