she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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