And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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