I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You can't motorboat a personality
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
