so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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