dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
