You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
