All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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