if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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