did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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