What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
