At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
