i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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