Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
