i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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