i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
