i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
