if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
