I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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