their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to walk on stilts...naked
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
