Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
