She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
