its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
