i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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