Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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