whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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