Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
