Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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