in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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