Dual....:-)
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
