its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
