So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
