On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
