No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
