Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
