Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
