they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They took my balls.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
