Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
