I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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