dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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